Turn around

Hey young drivers,

I read in the paper today that the DMV is changing the style of license for people under 21. Instead of the traditional horizontal license they are moving to a vertical license for drivers under 21. This is to remind clerks that these presenters are underage. I suppose we should stand up instead of drink up. Instead of the can, it is cannot with this vertical licenses. Maybe it means you have to be at least this tall....

What about other licenses to do activities? You have your given such as fishing and hunting. What if there was one for dating? You have to be at least this tall....

Maybe I will start selling larger wallets. See you next time when I have better ID.

Your lucky numbers are 9 27 08

Hello Earth walkers,

Up in the sky it is a bird, it is a plane, it is Superman?! No,it is a space shuttle from China. I am sure you heard the news that China has now been to the moon. They performed their first moonwalk. Wouldn't Michael Jackson be proud?

Fortune say: Man with no pants will go to the moon.

Now we will have new and improved Moon Rock pets. Just another thing made in China. Hope they did not celebrate with milkshakes.

Keep on looking to the stars...and pass the chicken.

Keep It Simple Stupid

I am so glad it is Friday. This has been a long week. There has been turmoil in the news. Weird weather. Quiet at work.

It will be good to relax this weekend.

If you enjoy wet, damp, and dark weather then this is for you. I hope you are happy about depressing weather. For the rest who are not happy about wind and rain, we have to make the most of it.

It is a good time to sit around in your pajamas, curl up with that special someone, put in a movie or CD, and relax. If you are at work, I would suggest waiting until you get home...especially if you usually sleep naked.

If you enjoy yelling at the television, then I am pretty sure you will find a lot to yell about.

So have a relaxing weekend, even that includes waving you hands in the air like you just don't care.

"Happy" to see you

Well let me come out and say it...Clay Aiken is gay.

I know you are probably surprised. Raleigh's hometown boy apparently likes other boys. For many years he has denied it, but now admits it. He said he did not want to have to lie to his son.

I guess Clay will teach his son to play ball.

Nice buns sesame

To all you hamburglers,

For lunch today, I went the place of meat patty royalty. I ordered a burger that had two patties, bacon, and other fixings. When I received the burger I was surprised to see how big it was. As I opened the wrapper, I noticed the bun but that was basically it. The bun dwarfed the two burgers. Maybe if the two burgers were side by side would it fill up the bun.

The only thing I can thing is that they have a special burger for the humongous bun and I did not order it.

However, it was pretty good. At least until five minutes later when I felt, ugh did I eat that? Of course I do eat so fast that I barely taste anything anyway...

Sky blue was falling

Well, I know that I am a little late about this subject, but I had the opportunity to go to a college football game over the weekend. A friend called me out of the blue and asked if I wanted to go to the Carolina/Virginia Tech game. He was able to get a couple of tickets. So I went.

It was pretty interesting. There was a sea of blue and a little bit of orange. Of course it was the home turf of Carolina. The game started off with a lot of excitement. Unfortunately, not really on the field. It seemed that both teams could not get their act together.

In the third quarter Carolina pulled away with a substantial lead. Then all of a sudden the game became about penalties. The referees were dropping flags like love letters. The majority of the penalties were against Carolina. That caused Carolina to lose their momentum and Virgina Tech took over. There went on a 20-0 run. The sea of blue fell like the parting of the Red Sea which apparently swam over East Carolina.

Now I will be the third to admit I know nothing about football, but I had a pretty good time. One thing that as a sports fan I do not understand is how much rivalry there is. The most confusing thing is that opposing teams resent and mention teams they are not even playing. For example most of the chants were detriments to Duke. I asked my friend Rich and he said it is a big rivalry between this two teams. I was aware of the one in basketball, not really in football. I suppose if you are a die hard fan then your teams enemy is your enemy.

I guess the best way to motivate your team is to put down the other team. Even if you have a bad day, at least you are not the other loser.

It is completely dork in here!

Good morning...I suppose.

It is hard to tell this morning. It is so dark in the house this morning. It is a little a after 6:30 in the am and it is pitch black. I miss the mornings when the sun would be up before me. I guess the time change in November will fix that issue in some way. Then I will have to worry about it being dark before I am ready to go to bed.

I know what you are saying,"Well turn on the light." True, but that would take candles and music.

I suppose it is good sleeping atmosphere. However, I don't need the perfect atmosphere to go to sleep, all I need is five minutes.

Well, I suppose I will lie back down.

At zzzz's my friends.

A new form of jewelry

Yeap, it is me.

Who else could it be?

With a new form of jewelry

B0-RING!

I sing.

From here to obscurity

Good morning to some of you and good evening to the rest.

Here are some random thoughts to start or end your day....

Are people who drink Cheerwine considered happy drunks?

Isn't it ironic that the word candid makes up candidate?

You always hear you should try until you succeed, what if you wanted to fail?

Gravity is good about not giving up.

Well hopefully you will make it through the day. Remember you have the rest of your life to be miserable, so what is five minutes?

Mondaze

Good morning! Good morning! You slept the whole night through.
Of course you would rather get more, if it were up to you.

Not too much going on this early in the morning. Which is probably a good thing, if you think about it.

Enjoy the work week or school week.

Familiarity

How do!

I am back from my travelling weekend. I spent the weekend with my parents in Nashville. So I left Cary headed to Nashville on Saturday morning. Then I drove my parents to New Bern and back to Nashville. On Sunday I went to Goldsboro and back to Nashville then returned to Cary. That is more than I have driven in a long time. I only live about 3 miles from work.

This weekend was busy one to spend with family.

My aunt was getting married. This was a second wedding for both bride and groom, because their previous spouses passed away. The wedding was very casual. I think there were two songs and the vows. My 92 year old grandmother sang a solo in the wedding. She received a standing ovation. The reception was pretty simple also. The menu was sandwiches, soup, fruit, and of course wedding cake. It was all very good.

Then today was a family reunion. This family reunion is a pretty big deal to my dad's side of the family. This was also the side of the family of the aforementioned wedding. You are probably asking, did the newlyweds attend the reunion? Of course, she wanted to show him off to the family. The setup to the reunion is very basic. It is a covered dish meal. There was a lot of good food. Then after the meal the "business" of the reunion begins. We learn how many are there from each of the founding family members, the visitors, who is now married, who is now born, and who passed away during the year. After these facts, it is time for the entertainment. Usually the family asks the children to perform through song or some form of talent. I usually perform along with my cousins. We do some pretty funny skits or I will tell somewhat very jokes. I was a little ready to tell some jokes this year.

However, they had "professional" entertainment. A somewhat local man and his daughter played the banjo/guitar and violin. They played primarily bluegrass and some hymns. They were pretty good. There names were Dan and Samantha Casey. Apparently they are quite good because they were the winners of a contest to write a jingle for Oreo cookies. They performed their winning entry. It was interesting.

Well that was my weekend. Amateur chauffeur.

Oops, I did it again....

No, not dress like Brittany Spears. It was supposed to be Olivia Newton John.

I have made many large errors in judgment and stressed out and disappointed my wife. She has a lot more to think of than my grievous errors. For that I wanted to apologize and let her know I love her.

Nothing says you are sorry than a public apology. Ask a few famous people...

Just wanted to say, Wendy, I love you.

Computer whoas!

It is good to be with you. Last night our internet went down again. Lately we have been having issues with our laptop. It just randomly decides to kick us off the internet, like a stubborn mule.
In the past couple of months I have called the manufacturer's technical support. They have not really been able to help us. Out of the two times I called they really did not have an answer, but were able to get it running again by restoring the factory defaults. Which means we lost all we had on the computer. Mainly it was pictures my wife had saved. Twice! Oh well. It comes and goes.
Of course I have no technical know how. My solution when we are unable to get online... I get mad. The mad where you storm around the house looking like you are doing something, but in all honesty you are not besides making yourself look like an idiot.
I am not sure why I get so bent out of shape. I get mad for the four hours it is not working just so I can get on the computer for 30 minutes. I suppose it is the principle of the thing...give me something that works when I need it.
Don't worry. After a few hours of turning the computer on and off. My wife, genius she is, fixed the problem. She flipped the power supply to the modem. That worked, but for how long?
It still works and I am still an idiot.

Cavity search

Well all of you out there in www, I went to the dentist yesterday. Don't all of you grimace at once and you can come back out of hiding. It was my four month checkup. I am pleased to say that I am improving. That is good because I am nearly neurotic about oral care. I brush and floss after every meal and use mouthwash twice daily. "Big deal," some of you are saying and good for you. You will probably have clean chompers for the rest of your life.
It had been awhile since I had seen the dentist before this year. I paid for it. Monetarily and with the buildup on my teeth. Talk about putting your money where you mouth is....Whew! Yesterday's visit was $150. Yikes!
How do we have such great technologies in dentistry and yet the patients must suffer through the instrument of pain that scrapes your teeth? You know that piece of equipment with the hook on the end that makes the horrible noise and the terrible pain in your mouth. They have such advanced equipment to clean and repair teeth, yet at least once every visit. Scrape. Tink. Scrape. Aaaugh! Tink. Scrape. Too bad there is no spray that just cleans the teeth. It would probably put dentists out of business. They need our money too. The good news is you only have to go a couple of times a year.
My teeth are not the greatest anyway, but soon they will be above the stereotypical British.
So remember, save yourself time and money....Brush and floss daily. Treat your teeth like a present so you will have them in the future.

Third time is the charm

Well, I have decided to give blogging another shot. It has been a little over a year since my last post. Am I any different? Not really. Do have any more to say? Nah.

I hope you enjoy anyway. See the guy in the back if you want a refund.

Fine, Fine, Fine

Well, just call me Rip (in my trousers) Van(because I have more cargo room) Wrinkle (because of my fault lines).

To all three whom are concerned....

You win. Please check your mailbox each day to claim your prize.

You may be asking yourself where was he? If you are not watching late night infomericals or stuck in traffic. Did he have a nervous breakdown? (Well, no more or less than usual) Did he go the way of the pizza? (No Tombstone for me yet) What happened then?

Well this is the information superhighway and I was stuck in traffic. Apparently I can only type one word a minute...two if I may three mistakes.

Oh well, can I go outside and play Momma? I hear there is a prize waiting in my mailbox.

Remember you can't live with 'em, but you can live with me.

The secret word of the day

Hello all who have made it through the exams to read this blog

Is it just me or does everything in our society have a password? It used to be just your bank account. Now it is your computer, your voice mail, your e-mail. Everything requires a password . Are we that paranoid or are people really trying to get us? I know that people are crazy and that is why we need some protection. It just seems like an overload.
We have a different password for every occasion. The passwords of old used to be the sequential numbers or your favorite animal. Now it is a combination of every type of character from all over the keyboard.
Experts say you should make your passwords at least 7 digits long. Now I have to combine my birthday and my dog's birthday! They also say to use characters like !, &, ) to represent certain characters. It is all very confusing.
Oh well as long as my secret is safe with me, I can put up with !+yp1n9 funny.

Grounded day

Dear fellow watchers of wacky weather and other weird things

I did not realize that tomorrow was Groundhog Day. So in an effort to beat out my shadow so we will not have six more weeks of randomness, here I am.
Well it did it again. Snow, that is. This time it started around 8 am. At least most of the state was shut down, school wise. I did see a few cars out early this morning. Granted I was one of them. However, I was out before the snow fell.
So it was half a day of work for some and others it was a whole day out of work. I could not imagine working for a company that one has to go out in the weather. However, I am glad that those people can.
Why is there nothing on television worth watching when you are able to watch? I have flipped through the channels and nothing. Every 30 minutes I hope it will change.
It also seems that dreary weather days make me so tired. They put me in a daze. I don't want to sit at home, but I don't want to get out in the weather. So I end up moping around. Fortunately, I lose consciousness every hour or so.
Good news is that it is supposed to stay above freezing tonight, so what melted earlier and the rain that is falling will not freeze. That is good because then tomorrow morning I will not have to clean up ice on the sidewalks at work. Plus the swerving I do while driving will not be due to the ice.

Stay warm and toasty. I will let you decide whether you want the crusts or not.

Baby, Baby, Baby

No, that is not my new one hit one wonder. However, it is the soon to be new arrivals of people I know that are having babies.
Howdee out there to the new arrivals and the ones who have been around for awhile
It seems that everytime I turn around I am bumping into a pregnant lady. No, not because they are that big nor am I that clumsy, whoops!, but because they are so apparent! Da Dum Bing!
There are three, 1, 2, 3, in my limited list of people I know who have had, will have babies. Two cousins and a friend. No, that is not some kind of weird relationship in some state. Although it might be a hit show on ABC, if I add some form of restaurant....Oh well, I only have a sketch artist. He charges by the arm and leg. Do do te!
Anyway, I was just thinking all these babies are boys. Is there some element in the drinking water? I think I have heard that girls outnumber the guys out in population land.
Is our society becoming like the ants, where the number of males outnumbers the females. Then the males will be forced to work for one queen. Sounds very familiar.....If this does happen I am sure that the guys will not notice until too late.
So to the women out there, no need to fight as you can see there are plenty choices of available young men out there. Also, to the women, you can have the world, but leave us the remote control. Men, be aware if your young lady starts disappearing. Either that or be prepared to lift 10 times your body wait.
Congratulations to all the new mommas and poppas out there who are dealing with dirty diapers, wailing and gnashing of teeth, screaming, lack of sleep, and other calls of duty. You only have to put up with it for a few years. Then is the messy part as they become teenagers. However, you will have all the love and joy you can handle.

People not to date

Here is a list for all you people sitting around in 07 who are looking for that special someone and who you should avoid...

Never date math teachers, they only discuss their problems.

Never date librarians. Sure they check you out, but then put you on a shelf.

Never go out to eat with a taxidermist, they will make you eat until you are stuffed.

Never go out with a banker, they are in it for the money.

Never go out with a telemarketer, they cannot call past 7 pm.

Never go out with an anesthesiologist, they put you to sleep.

Never go out with an IRS agent, it is very taxing.

Dough not go out with a baker, every date seems like a dozen.

This are just a few of the people out there who are "out there." Of course your results may vary. Keep looking. Some day you may get reeled in by a movie goer.