I've wet my pants

To the one reader I have, you can claim your free prize. A breath of air. (Only fresh in certain areas. Check local listings.)

Last night I was able to fix that leaky tub spout. I cannot believe it either. For those of you keeping score...Jonathan 3 House a lot more than 3. I decided I was tired of the drip so I was going to do something about it besides drip my own fluid out of my eyes. On the messiest day of the week Wendy and I go to the hardware with everything store with a name resembling the opposite of high with a letter E. We were walking down the aisles looking for a repair kit for the tub. We have the type of fixtures with the same name of the airline. After figuring out what seals, springs, and ball I needed we had the guts and were looking for the glory. I had to pick up another tool to help turn off the water to the house. To my limited knowledge the only way that we can the water off to the house is at the street. Apparently they make something called a curb key, which is a long handle with a grip to assist in this process. Wendy, the great lookout she is, found the tool we needed. We make our purchase and head to the house.

I am ready to fix that leak. I have the high hopes that these job will take no more than 30 minutes and we can go on with life high and dry. I go the water turnoff, find it, place the new handy tool, twist and bingo. It worked! The water pressure goes to nothing. I proceed upstairs toward the tub spout. I take it apart without any problems, but there is water dribbling out. Now this is not as bad as I tried to take it apart without turning off the water, however there is still water. I am confused, what else is new, but I am not deterred. I put the new seals on the springs and work to get them back in there previous homes. Not really any luck. It is not going as well as I expected. Then I try to put the ball back in its place. It is not working right either. It will not fit. All this time water is flowing, time is passing, and I am getting wet. I thought I was doing everything right but no results. I call a couple of people, a friend and my supervisor from work. They give me a few tips and my supervisor agrees to come out to the house. He is great to work for and is very knowledgeable in home improvement areas.

While I am waiting for help to arrive I continue my quest. The former drip is now a stream. I am disgusted now and wondering what is going wrong. I found out the water was still running because I did not the water valve all the way to the off position. I do that to stop the water. Finally after pushing on the seals and ball, I tighten a few things and think now it is time to test. I go back out to the water valve. Twist. The water flows and shoots the seals out of their resting places. Now the water is rushing out. I am soaked. I go back down and turn the water off.

Fortunately, my supervisor arrives and assesses the situation. The seals were not flush in the holes so it was allowing water to flow through the spout. We push on the seals to get them fully inside the holes. We push on the ball and tighten everything back. NO LEAK! After two hours on the job and no pay, it is finished. While my supervisor was here he cleaned out another sink that was draining very slowly. He disconnected one of the pipes under the sink and took out the stopper. It was stopped up with a bunch of gunk. We cleaned that out and now the water is draining and flowing properly.

It was a productive, if long night. I learned a few things. First, some plumbing hints. Make sure you know what you are doing. I realize that I was on the right track. Sometimes it seems that I need an expert to help me finish up. As it is with most problems, I have some things I need, expect the SOLUTION!

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming. All errors in spelling, punctuation, grammar, content, and terminology are mine.