Mourning sickness

We have all come down with something or slowly getting over it.  Fortunately, we are usually pretty healthy,  but we have been hit with this.

It started a day or so before Christmas.  Wendy had some congestion and headache.  Since Wendy nurses Ava she has to be selective on the medication.  By Christmas Wendy felt better with a few lingering effects of the crud.  She is still zapped energy wise.  The day after Christmas Wendy's parents woke up feeling miserable.  The congestion, cough, headache.  It seemed to affect them worse.  I felt that my nose was an output factory and had a little bit of a cough.  Even Ava came down with the congestion and cough.  It is miserable to see an infant come down with something.

It is good that I had some time off work to recover.  My nose will feel dry and then an hour later I will feel the need to blow it.  I have a little bit of a cough still.  Ava still is a little congested.  Oh! Joy.  She had the most mild case of all.  A little bit of a runny nose.  We joked that Joy had outrun the crud because she was on the move so much.

Hopefully we can beat the crud and the only congestion we face is when we travel.

Knew technology

A week or so ago, depending on how long I have been away from work, we received new equipment in our area.  When we update our leasing contracts we update machines.  It is usually for three years and a lot can change in three years.  Most of the time the equipment is basically the same, maybe with one of two features.

I am sure this update will be fine, but there are some distinctions.  I feel the like the previous software was a little more user friendly.  You put your item up there and instant results.  This one feels like going down a buffet line.  The biggest difference to me is the printout of codes.  Now it prints all of them, even if you did not use it.  The other report would only print the applied codes.

Oh well, most of you, all of you, really just wasted your time in reading this.  I guess you have to do something on your day off.

Talking to me or about me

I know that I have a pretty boring life.  I work and then go home.  Granted it is to see an amazing wife and two adorable children.  I just do not do much with my own life.  I was that way when single as well.

People when talking to me usually ask me about other people.  Mainly the children.  Which I guess is good because I never have more than a monosyllabic answer about me.  Parents joke about them being mentioned only in passing.

It is alright if you ask me about something other than me.  Usually if I am alive then I am fine.

One, two, tree

Over the weekend Wendy and I put up the Christmas tree.  Before this weekend we had been on the go and not had a weekend around the house.  We were still busy because of a church Christmas party on Saturday.  So it was not until Sunday that we put up the tree.

It is an artificial tree we were given soon after we were married.  It is still hanging on, although a few branches are hanging lower.  It looks pretty good with all the ornaments.  Wendy was remarking that most of the ornaments represent a life before Ava.  We have ornaments about trips before children and then ornaments about Joy.  I am sure that future ornaments will make it on the tree.

One of the traditions we try to keep is getting an ornament or some each year.  We have not picked up any yet.  I have an aunt who the past few years has given us several as Christmas gifts.

I am not much on decorations but they do provide remembrance of good times.

Do you have a favorite ornament?

Which way is faster

I am often guilty of wanting to get things done as quickly as possible.  Sometimes others do not see it that way.

Joy does not mind taking a bath.  It is the getting out of the tub, getting a diaper, and putting on pajamas that takes the effort.  Even with the suggestion of watching Wiggles, it still is a challenge to corner her to get her ready.   After times of calling her name and reminding of her of Wiggles the task is complete.

I think to myself do you not realize if you would listen to me and do this now it would be finished.  As Wendy likes to say, Joy is a two year old and not in her 30s.

Leaves me alone

It is that time of year.  When the last of the leaves fall to the ground.  I am always surprised at the amount of leaves that fall in my yard.  This year I have already raked twice.  Fortunately, in this case, my yard is small.  I live in a community that will pick up the leaves if I put them at the curb.  That is nice and annoying at the same time.  Nice because the leaves will soon disappear.  Annoying because 1) I have to rake them and 2) everyone else puts the leaves on the curb so the road is clogged with leaves.

I do not mind leaves on the ground.  Sometimes the sound of the crunching leaves is cool to hear.  Since I can get rid of leaves for free, I might as well.  Knowing our community there is probably some rule against having leaves in the yard.  Some people burn their yard waste or dump it further it woods.  Others make piles for the children to jump in.  I know I have been sheltered, but I am not sure if I have ever jumped in a leaf pile.   Right now that does not sound appealing because I would imagine it would hurt. I saw some story on the news where people make a 17 foot high leaf pile and jumped off a roof onto it.  Not for me.  I do not enjoy raking that much or heights.

When I rake it always seems I miss a spot.  I get the leaves to the place and turn around.  Only to see more leaves in the area I just raked.  I tried to use an electric leaf blower I received as a gift.  It worked pretty well, except for my incompetence.  That is hard work!

Leaves come and go, but there is always work to be done from the ground up.

Joy to the world

Wendy and I are blessed to have easy going children.  They would have to be easy going to put up with a parent like me.  Of course we have our screaming matches and the girls fuss too.

Ava will burst into smiles.  It is pretty funny to see this.  The toothless (well two teeth are popping up from the bottom) grin.  She can go from happy to crying uncontrollably in a few seconds, which leaves us saying what happened?

Joy is for the most part her name.  People comment how cute she is.  She enjoys helping. Fill in blank, too.  Joy loves to go up stairs.  Plus touching DVDs, as much as we tell her not to.  Sometimes Joy seems so independent and non-attentive that I think as soon as she can move out she will.  Then I wonder if she moves out will she call us to come over all the time?  The hard part me is letting Joy do things on her own while not letting her act wild.  I know there is a fine line.

Parenthood is one of those things where you are not sure if you are being rewarded or challenged.

Food for thought

Last week was Thanksgiving.  So it was a time of food and seeing family.  I was off work, which was an added bonus.

We left Wednesday afternoon to head to see Wendy's parents.  They live on the way to see my family for Thanksgiving, so it can take off some of the drive on the Thanksgiving day.  Traffic was not too bad, we faced some congestion.  However, traffic is getting worse all the time anyway.

Thursday morning we went to New Bern to see my family.  The two big celebrations for my family are Thanksgiving and a family reunion.  It was a nice time.  Wendy and I did not get to eat too much.  Thanks to a mobile child.  We joked this year we left the Thanksgiving meal feeling hungry.  I did get a small sample of each dessert, so you do not have to feel too bad.

Then Friday, while others shopped, we sat around the house.  Wendy's family had an array of food that afternoon. 

Saturday we had an appointment to get pictures.  Wendy wanted a picture of Ava and a family photo.  So three hours later and thanks to a coupon we have pictures.  Well at least the CD.  The pictures will arrive later.  Wendy has already been working on Christmas cards.  We had a few of the leftovers for lunch.

It always seems with leftovers that I am tired of eating them.  I think I will not eat that again.  Then when I get hungry for something quick I miss the leftovers.  Sometimes the leftovers are the best part of the meal.

Do you have a favorite food to eat as a leftover?

It is my 15 minutes

This morning I had a question for my provider of phone, television, and internet.  Of course I got the automated message saying hold for the next available representative.  The message asked would I like to take a survey after the phone call and that if I would that I will receive a phone call in 15 minutes.  Or if I would not be near a phone in 15 or wanted to decline, I could.  So I declined the survey.

Well it took almost 15 minutes for me to speak to a live person.  I guess I was better off taking the survey.  Makes me wonder if since I did not agree to take the survey I was put further on the list and shown that I would have to wait 15 minutes anyway.

Con me into reading a comic

I will admit the day did not start off too well.  Not quite sure it ended that well either.  However, here it is.

Saturday, my brother had picked up tickets for the NCComicon.  The show was held at the Durham Convention Center.  I have never been to a Comicon, so I thought why not.  It had been held at the Morrrisville Mall, but I never made it over there.

So Saturday morning, I head out to pick up my brother.  Before I leave Wendy and Ava had been up off and on since 3 am.  I get five miles from my brother's place and I hear phef, phef, phef.  I think what is that? I pull off into a driveway.  It is my rear passenger tire.  Flat!  The sad thing is I had put air in my tires just ther  day before.  So I call my brother to say I have to put on a spare.  Of course being Saturday, the tire place just a mile from his house, which would have been cheaper, was not open.  We find a tire place open.  They were really nice.  So after putting on a new tire and $60 later we are on the way.

We get to the Convention Center and park in the parking deck.  Fortunately, the parking meter was turned off.  We walk toward the building.  They have in an area the Batmobile from the television series, the Mystery Van from Scobby Doo, and the Dolorean from Back to the Future.  One can get a picture taken by the vehicles, for a donation of course.

We go inside and because my brother had pre-ordered tickets we walk right in.  We also got a goodie bag with two comics, a shirt, and little Heroclix figure.  I had never played Heroclix, but it was free.  Basically the Comicon was artists seeing their prints and vendors saying comics and toys.  It was a little different than I expected, but it was still neat to say that I have been.  I saw a few costumes, but not as many as I thought I would.  I think on Sunday they were having a costume parade.  It was interesting to see the people making purchases.

For lunch we thought we would see what was around.  We thought about walking, but decided to drive around.  As we were leaving the parking deck, I noticed there was now a guy standing at the gate.  Now they decided to charge incoming vehicles.  I think great, my brother says maybe we can find free parking.  So we head off and not knowing Durham drive around a bit.  We do not see much.  We had placed an Afghani place, I think the sign said, on the way to the Convention Center.  My brother said let's try there.  It was pretty good.  I do not have much experience with foreign food.  I was worried I would not like it, but I was able to eat it.  It was almost like Indian food, of course I have limited experience eating Indian food.

After our meal, we leave the car in the restaurant's parking lot and walk back to the Convention Center.  It was about a fifteen minute walk.  Since we have the wristband we walk right in.  Which is good because the line to get in was long.

We attend a few of the panels.  One was about showing film genres.  It was pretty interesting.  The guy was talking about 35 mm films and finding prints from the studios and how everything was going digital.  The other panel was a discussion with a comic book artist.  I had heard of some of his work, the titles, but not really read any of it.  It was interesting because the people on the panel would mention something and the audience would nod heads and ooh and ahh.  While I had no idea what they were talking about.

I get back that afternoon to the house because Wendy and I have to drop off Joy and Ava at the church.  They were having free childcare for two hours.  So rush to that.  Then we went to Walmart and had donuts and coffee/hot chocolate at Dunkin Donuts.  It is the little things.

So I guess the day was not that bad, hectic, of course, but not bad.

Dress for success

Wendy and I last night we to the mall to look for dresses for the girls.  Wendy was the one looking, I was pushing the stroller.  You do not want my fashion advice.  We went to several stores in the mall, but Wendy did not find what she wanted.  She wanted two dresses that were the same or at least close in color for a family Christmas picture.  Plus everything was expensive. 

Our last stop was a used children clothing store.  Wendy found two dresses and almost got them.  When she got to the counter, it looked like one was stained badly in the light.  Probably snot, Wendy told me.  So she did not buy the dresses.

Wendy ended up ordering two dresses from online.  With a special sale it is about the same price as the cheaper of the dresses.  Unfortunately, not as cheap as the used dresses.  However, they should be clear of bodily fluids.

Meet me halfway

The beginning of this week I was in Greensboro for work.  It was our annual meeting.  It is not that bad of a time.  It can be a lot of work.  Part of my job is to help load a rented truck with all the materials and furniture that will be taken to the meeting.  Then I have to help load it back and bring it back to the building.  The good news is that my room and meals are provided.

This year was pretty quiet.  I do not think there were any big controversies.  Attendance was a little lower than last year.  It was a couple of late nights.  Of course anything later than 7 or 8 is late for me.  The first night did not get out until 9:30 pm and the second, final night I had to work until midnight.  We had to be out of the hall by midnight.  The longest part of loading the truck was placement of the furniture.

I think the best part about the room was the shower.  Plenty of hot water and the pressure was pretty good.

I could tell my supervisor was reading to get home because we met for breakfast at 6:30 am and were back at the building by 9 am.

One of the elect

This past Tuesday was election day.  Some were happy, others were not.  According to the results it does  seem that the country is split.  I do not think the country will divide into two countries.  However, who knows?  The point that interests me is that before the election we had a democrat as president, republicans controlled the House, and democrats controlled the Senate.  Two billion dollars later and millions of pestered  voters what do we have?  A democrats as president, republicans in control of the House, and the Senate controlled by democrats.

I was pretty much wrong about the election.  I thought based on the numbers months ago that the election would have a pretty low turnout.  A lot of people were wrong about things as well.  Many thought we would have a new president.  A few by a landslide.  I wonder what happened.  That shows speculation is not reality, as much as we would hope.

Is President Obama going to do anything?  I think he will lay low the first two years.  He might try and pass something near the end of his term.  Because he knows that it will be it.  What did he do his first term?  His party was in control the first two years and he did not really do anything.  His last two years, the House and the Senate were so divided nothing was accomplished.  Some will say President Obama did some good things while others say he did harm.

It does seem that our country is interested in letting the government do more.  Spend more of our money or well borrow more from others is probably the truth.  Now granted, I enjoy free stuff about as much as anyone, but there is personal responsibility.  I think we as Americans have lost some of that.  However, I do not know much, but only what I am told.

Sometimes we have to pray for the best and live through the worst.

Luna-tic

I woke up this morning and went into the kitchen.  I had not yet turned on any lights.  Our backdoor is one those clear glass doors.  Looking out the door shows our very small deck.  I looked out this morning and thought I saw snow.  I was not looking forward to snow.  I look at my phone to see if there any weather updates. 

I say to Wendy who is trying to go to sleep, "It has snowed!"  She says it is probably frost.

It was not even that.  The moon cast the light and I thought it was snow.  I guess it is better to have natural light than pitch black.  Even if it does cause illusions.

I am glad it was not snow.  I am not ready for that weather yet.

One thing or another

I recently read a book by Glenn Beck.  Most of it I did not really understand.  It was about the economy and threw around a lot of figures and charts.  One thing was clear that our country has accumulated a great deal of debt.  On both sides of the aisle.

One part dealt with religion.  As a society, we are trying to chunk religion to the side.  I do not think we can force religion on anyone.  However, without religion in people what is there?  Beck makes a point about if religion is not there then something will fill that void.  His point (and granted his quote is better) is that it will not be good.

Faith is a moderator or probably better than that term.  It improves us.  Left to ourselves we would be in a sad state.   

The question for us is what fills us?  Faith in things that do not last or in someone who has been around a long time...eternity.

Create-ure

I wish that I was more creative.  I see those people bursting with energy.  That is not me.  Take for example the Wiggles.  If you have seen their concert, (I have not, but have watched a video of one) then you see them  on the move all the time.  I look around and see people on the internet doing things I have never thought of.

It would be nice to draw, sing, or write.  I guess I will just have to enjoy others' work.

The ugly truth

Why does always seem that the "ugly people" are show the most of television?  Wendy last night mentioned the unattractiveness of someone.  I know I am not high on the attractive list and I have been guilty of looking at some people and thinking, "Hmmm?"  Then she said that she should not talk about people as much.  I came up with some hogwash about it is not bad if you call someone ugly.  If you still love the person.  I guess it is the truth.

In thinking about it, is it?  It is better to think of someone positively.  It might even change the viewpoint of someone.  If we were nicer to others it would be a different place.  Admittedly, some people make it hard.

It is good to call em like you see em, but also sometimes to call em like you would like to see em.

It takes two

I noticed that I entitled my previous blog post the same as another.  I was thinking of calling it "Abort, abort" but thought better of it.  Or "Life matters."

I thought "In the Dark" was good because people are struggling with the issue. Plus the baby is probably in a dark place.

In the dark

Now I usually do not get political or social active, so I will probably have no idea what I am talking about.  The vice presidential debate was on last night.  One of the issues that was mentioned was abortion.  Abortion is a tough issue.  It seems that the Democrats, alleged by Republicans, are trying to turn it into a war with women.  Some polls show that women align more with the Democrats and the right to choice.  Funny that the Democrats give rights to women to end a child's life, but force Americans to have health care.  Where is the choice in that?  That is another topic I know nothing about.

I do not know much about abortion because I am not a woman nor have I been aborted.  I imagine it would be tough.  Tough on the body and tough to decide to get one.  It appears Democrats want to legalize it.  I guess they think it would be better if it was regulated.   You can correct if I am wrong.  Republicans say only in certain circumstances.  Rape, incest, and health benefit to mother.  Ok, now here is where I may get stupid.  Why is incest included?  I looked it up and the definition says intercourse between two closely related people.  My question, I know incest is not right, is that not consensual?   Maybe my point is not clear, perhaps I do not know what it is.  But, if it is consensual then why put in the exception?  Maybe they wanted the child?  Or is it being considered rape?  I told you I have no idea what I talking about.

The Democrats answer is let women decide.  It is their body.  Granted women are intelligent, but do they all know medical risks?  True some are doctors.  That is another point that sticks in my mind that I have not completely worked out yet.

I know most things I feel so what, unless it directly affects me.  I know I do not have answers.  I am not sure how I would respond if one of my daughters wanted an abortion.  But in the words of Joe Biden, VP, from last night...Let's give everyone a shot!  Or in my paraphrase dealing with life...Womb to grow!

The power hour

It is ironic that I wrote a post about not liking the dark, because we were in it for almost 12 hours.

We had not quite finished dinner, we were enjoying a bowl of ice cream, when BOOM!  The lights went out.  We think great.  So Wendy goes outside and the neighbors are standing around.  It is about 7:00 pm.  So we think let's go to the Y to get out of the house.  We had to the Y to walk around the track.  I call the power company.  Expected time of power return 9:30 pm.  On the way the Y it looked like it was our neighborhood and the next one.  So we thought that should not be too bad.  After the Y we drive around the neighborhoods to wait for the lights to come on.  At 9:30 no power yet, but trucks and crews in our subdivision.  Could be good or could be bad.  So we drive around some more.  The time we get back the trucks are gone, but no power.

So we enter the house.  Track down candles and flashlights.  Have to find batteries, fortunately we found some from a wedding gift.  A little light at least.  By the way maker of flashlights, why do you shove the instructions up in the place I need to put batteries so I have to dig it out after I try to put the batteries in.  I never knew candles to come in handy before, but they did last night.

I call the power company.  Next expected time of power is 12:30 am.  Some time the power comes on!   Hooray!  Ten minutes later after I had set the clocks, it is back off.  I call again.  Oh by the way did I mention both are cell phone have low batteries.  My phone keeps cutting in and out and I am transferred to a live person.  I know she thinks I am a moron because I kept saying "Sorry, I did not catch that."  Then she would yell-like what she said.  By the time we got off the phone I thought I heard her sigh good-bye.  The vindictive part of me wanted to keep calling her back to bug her.  Lady, I know it is one in the morning.  At least you are getting paid to be up!  After I talk to her, in a few minutes the power comes on.  We go to bed.  An hour later the power goes off!  Not again.

This time I call they say 3:30 am.  By that time no power, I call again.  I am told by the auto attendant that repairs are taking longer than expected.  We say forget it and go to sleep.  This morning I wake up and think what am I going to do for breakfast.  The answer have power!  The lights came on at 6:00 am.  I saw the work trucks still in our neighborhood.  Hopefully the power will stay on.  It was on at least when I left.

It is true you never think about how convenient it is to have something until it is gone.

That was our night.  How about yours? 

In the dark

I am not a big fan of being in the dark.  The ironic thing is I wait until the last possible moment to turn on the lights.  That is another less interesting story, mainly because I am cheap.  However, back to being in the dark.  This time of year is rough on me because it gets dark around 7 pm and stays dark until 7 am.

I like to get up early, but it is hard wanting to be active when it is still dark.  My body is saying go back to sleep.  So after a few minutes I usually do.

A HOA there

It was Saturday night by the time I checked the mail.  Our mail arrives late and we had run some errands.  The only thing in the box was a letter from our HOA.  Never a good sign.  I only had the mild dread because I knew we had recently had the house pressure washed and the shutters painted.  Re-read that sentence again if you want.  Because we were told to in a previous letter.  This current letter stated that we failed to do this.  Type what?!  I believe we did that in August and the so called "inspection" on September 26 says we did not.

Wendy was furious.  She was not able to get much sleep that night.  She sent an e-mail with a picture attached showing the painting of the shutters.  We do not have pictures of my brother power washing the house, but the house has no grime on it.

So there are a couple of things about this...
1)  There was no second inspection.  They just sent a letter saying it needed to be done because they knew people would not do it.

2)  The person doing the inspection has no idea what he is doing.  Or could have the wrong house.  I mean if you look at the shutters now you can tell a big difference.  They look bright and freshly painted!

3)  Wendy thinks it is political.  They have targeted certain houses with violations in the past.  She remarked that many houses in our neighborhood have faded shutters.

I think it is sheisty that the letter arrived on Saturday.  A day when no one is in the office.  Hmmm.  I know we do not pay a large amount of homeowner dues compared to some associations.  However, I see no evidence of what the HOA does for us.  Besides spending my money on postage telling me what a bad homeowner I am!

HOAs are compatible with other abbreviations that I will not mention.  Some people think they come in handy.  "Oh, without them the properties will look awful."  I say who cares?  But that is me.

Hopefully our next housing experience will be different and no HOA! 

Playing Dirty

Over the weekend our church had a community service day.  This is time for the members to get together and do projects for the community.  The mission friends class, which Joy now belongs, planted flowers at the local nursing home, handed out cards to the residents, and helped in the church garden.

I took Joy to the church Saturday morning, while Wendy stayed with Ava.  I hung around just in case Joy became too fussy.  Fortunately, she did pretty well.  She was not too interested in digging in the dirt.  I believe she put one flower in the ground.  Most of the time she was content to walk around.  Joy did hand out a card or two to the residents.  After that we returned to the church to "help out" the garden.  Basically it was picked beans off the pulled up plants.  The kids enjoyed it and talked about finding the "biggest bean in the world" several times of course.   Joy pulled some beans off and put them in the bag.

Then with the planned activities over and some time, the kids were allowed to play on the playground.  Joy has gotten to the point where she does enjoy the playground.  Mostly a slide.  She slid a few times and climbed some.  After that it was time to go.

I think it is good to have that the church includes the young ones on the mission projects.  It teaches service and gives excuse for the parents to get involved.

Hair or there

I have thought about for several months buying a home haircutting kit.  Wendy asks when I bring it up, "Who is going to cut it?"  Because she adamantly states it will not be her.  The kit does appeal to me because of the one time price.  I would pay fifteen dollars instead of the on the low end eleven every once in awhile.

I think to myself that I do not even know how to use a razor to shave my face well.  How am I supposed to use a haircutting kit?

A lot of people would argue my hair does not look good anyway.  I guess the question is how much do I have to lose?  Besides hair that I want cut.

Debate and switch

Last night were a couple of debates, which could be of interest to people.  It was the gubernatorial for our state and the presidential debate.  Wendy was very excited to see the presidential debate.  I only have paid attention.  I think most of the debate one would hear the same thing repeated from the candidates.  It is all about answering the questions with the point in mind.

The interesting thing about the pre-debate coverage is the desire to underestimate.  Part of me can see why the candidate would do this.  The candidate does not want too much pressure.  Yet the other part of me thinks well why should I waste my time watching if you are going to be a blubbering idiot.

According to people who get paid to talk/write about the debate or wanted to express an opinion here are the things I gathered.  The moderator was not horrible, but let the candidates do their thing and seemed to others as if he was not in control.  From what I saw some people wanted to see the candidates question one another.  Second, there was no big quote which will be the focus point of advertising.  Granted I do not remember much anyway, but I do not remember much what was even said.  The last point from the social media world is that Romney won the debate.  I guess that is why there are three debates to see what will happen next time.

Probably most people who watch the debates have their guy in mind already.  So I guess it truly comes down to advertising that the candidates do not have to pay for.  Or a chance for the American people to see some gaffes.

Real men love curves

I guess that is why they call them mountain men.  I am not a mountain man.  I do not enjoy driving those curvy roads.  I will admit that I feel it in my stomach the slightest dip.

The end of last week and over the weekend we took at family vacation to the mountains.  The Baptists own a piece of property and rent it out.  It is one employee perk.

It was a pretty good time, even if we did not get to do all we wanted to do.  Or now that it is over it was a blur.

We ate well and saw a couple of sights and sites.  I guess that is the important part of vacation.

Love to hate

I was thinking this morning about the way people are treated.

Do you spend most of your energy showing people you love them or trying to show you hate them?

I wonder.  There are some people I try to avoid.  So I have to be the one going out of my to be out of their way.  I then resent them, making my day long.  While they could care less.

If I show people I love them.  Then I am benefited because they are happy.  That usually makes my day a lot more smooth.

Something to think about and well, do.

The only glitch was me

The other night I tried to do something.  I could not quite figure it out.  So I tried again and again.  I finally got it.  After four downloaded programs and five hours.  For something when I had the right program took 30 minutes.

Some things I will tackle until one of us is on the ground and crying.  Other things at the first sign of failure I give up.  It probably has to do with how mad I get.

How do you choose when doing something whether to give in or give out?

Ironic man

I think it is bizarre the things I am asked to do.  I do not really like asking people to do things, yet I am constantly trying to get people to do something.  My job involves minor maintenance and we all know I am not a handy man.  I have three women in my life and I know absolutely nothing about females.

Is God trying to teach me something?  Or does He just want something to laugh at?

Shutter to think

Weeks ago Wendy and I received a letter from our HOA, really known as DOA.  They informed us that our shutters were faded and we needed to power wash our house.  So my brother power washed our house.  Then we put some rocks down to help water splash dirt up on the house.  Since our foundation is so low, when it rains the dirt hits the side of the house.  We have a few more rocks to put down, to make it look nice.

That still leaves the faded shutters.  We looked around the neighborhood and other neighbor's shutters were faded.  However, being diligent, and wanting to get the HOA off our back we decided to freshen them up.  Being a guy who cares nothing for detail, I wanted to ignore it, but Wendy talked me into it.  So we went to Lowes and found some paint.  Wendy, being the great painter, performed the operation.  The paint we picked up did match the old, which is surprising.  Wendy did a great job and the shutters look good.

Hopefully this will be the end of our letters from the HOA.

Sleep depraved

We have been fortunate to have both our girls sleep okay.  Joy has been a fantastic sleeper, of course a few exceptions.  She has even taken to sleeping in her new bed.  Ava for the most part and being a four month old sleeps okay. That is until this weekend.  Beginning Thursday night she woke up at 12:30 am, 2 am, 4 am.  She would do some as Wendy calls it, "death cries".  We were a little concerned that she would wake up Joy and then we would have two awake girls early in the morning.

It was a frustrating time to say the least.  Wendy was not getting much sleep and when momma is not happy.  Well bad things can happen.  I was not happy because of course I thought Ava should be sleeping.  Since she had been sleeping consistently for two months.  Apparently four months is a big time of change for babies.  Of courses babies are unpredictable and only a crazy person (me) would think they will always do the same thing.

Needless to say, we were praying that last night would be different.  We gave Ava her bath and she started dozing off.  Is this good or bad?  She fell asleep by nine. I put her down and fifteen minutes she cried out.  I picked her up and held her some more.  I think Wendy fed her.  The rest of the night is a blur.  The next thing I knew it was 10:30 and Wendy woke me up for bed.  Wendy had just said Ava had been down since 10 and hopes she sleeps the night.  We heard that sound of crying.  I rush to Ava's room and insert the pacifier.  Ava closes her eyes and turns her head.  Fast forward to the morning.  No crying!  While I was up before everyone else I did Ava cry out, but only once.  I waited to see if more would come, but fortunately did not.

Everyone was still resting when I left for work this morning.  I hope that this weekend was an exception and we will get back to the restful nights.

You didn't cook this...

But I did eat it!

I think that often the best food is one where I did not have to cook.  I think that is why going to restaurants is appealing.  There is not much hassle.  Until the bill arrives.

Over the weekend I experienced a good deal of eating of what others have cooked.  Saturday at our church was a chance to get some good food.  Wendy and I even got to take some leftovers.  To have for dinner!  Then Sunday was a family reunion.  Always plenty of good food.

The good part was the only cleanup involved was throwing away the Styrofoam plates.  The best part was the food itself.

In-frustration

You may have the same problem as well.  We are facing the creepy crawlies.  I am not sure where they have come from, but I wish they would go back.  Or better yet leave.  I am speaking of insects.  Sometimes they can be hard to kill because they do move fast.  I think they act on our shock.  We did get some spray so hopefully that will help.

Remember to have your pests sprayed and neutralized.

Roll with it, baby

You have probably read Wendy's blog that we have finished some renovation in what is to  be Joy's room.  It has been a stop and go process.  We took down the one wall of wallpaper several weeks ago.  All we had to is paint, sort of.  Over the labor day weekend, we finally got to it.

During the day we painted.  Then at night we stayed at the place where we housesit.  So it worked out, but it was a process.  I am not much of a painter.  I do more grumbling than work probably.  Wendy is pretty good.  She enjoys it so much that she painted walls, a dresser, and some bed rails.

Now comes the part where we have to shift everything around that we had to move to paint.

You don't impress me much

Is there someone in your life that you will always hold the same opinion of?  You will always mistrust them or have a positive view of?  Maybe on the other side a person will never trust you?

It could be me, but I feel there are several people who think I am an idiot.  I know that they see me as useless and have no idea what I am doing.  I might perpetuate the myth by not being able to do anything worthwhile in their presence.

What does it take to change someone's opinion about someone?  The action of the person or the mind of the judge?

Get in gear!

Well I have my latest car woe fixed.

Friday morning I get into my car to head to work.  I crank up, put my foot on the brake, and try to move my gear shift.  It does not move.  I try several times, but nothing.  Wendy pokes her head out the door to see what is going on.  She tries, but nothing.  I call my supervisor from work.  He is pretty handy with cars and might know a trick.  He tells me to try and couple of things.  The gear comes out of park.  So I am good to go.  Of course I never think any more about it.

Fast forward or look back to Saturday morning.  Wendy, the girls, and I are headed to pick up a few things from the store.  So we load up into my car.  The gear shift will not come out of park!  I struggle with that thing for awhile.  Wendy tries.  I call my supervisor again.  This time the over the phone consultation does not work.  He says he will come over.  He arrives, but cannot get it out of park.  He feels the release, but cannot get it to release.  Of course Wendy's car is in front of mine in a single driveway.  Tommy, my supervisor, is able to move her car out to the street.

One problem is that my car is needs to be worked on.  The next is without getting it out of park, it will have to be towed.  Meaning for you keeping score, an extra expense.  I ask Tommy would the dealership know a trick to get it out of park, to bypass the safety feature.  He knows someone better.  He makes the call and the person says if you take a screwdriver into a little hole by the gear shift it will manually release.  It works!  The car can get into gear.  Now I have to wait until Monday to take it to the auto shop.  Why do things like that happen on Saturday?

Monday I take the car to get it worked on.  It turns out an actuator went bad.  Which I guess is some kind of motor to release the gear.  Of course the part could only be gotten from the dealership so I had to pay for the dealer's name and markup.  Then an hour and half of labor.   So I am looking at a $200 bill.

With my car lately it has been little things adding up to big bills.  I suppose each day has troubles of it own, most of it deals with possessions.

Maintenance on cars, cannot live without it, cannot afford not to do, cannot afford it when I do it.

For I know the plans I have for you

Well I  am glad somebody does.  I am not very good at making plans.   Just listen to Wendy and me discuss what to do for dinner.  I cannot think to much about the future.  I often only see the immediate.  That can pose difficulties because then I  have no idea what the next step is.  Or worse I have to do more work because I was not thinking.

I know that everything cannot be mapped out.  There will be the unexpected.  It does seem like a large majority of successful people are able to plan long term.  People will follow someone with a vision.  I think that people are comforted by having goals.  As long as they are not the ones to set them.

Do you spend time in the present preparing for the future?

Bumps in the night

I have some bumps on my legs and arms.  I am not sure if they are bug bites or poison ivy.  They itch some.  I can forget about them until they get hit and then I am reminded they are there.  I try not to scratch at them because I hear that can lead to infection.  Although sometimes I just want to scrape them off.

It is amazing how little things can be big irritations. 

Space savers

I read an interesting passage in a book this morning.  To receive things one has to make room.  In other words the best way to get something is to make room to receive it.  The author talked about cleaning up and people see that the person is ready for more responsibility.  I think it is true.  If I am gripping something then I do not have my hands free to take something.  Two objects cannot occupy the same space.

Some say that I have plenty of room in my head for something.

What is occupying space in your life?

How about a day early?

I enjoy getting things free.  I love special promotions.  Partly because I do not have to pay and partly because the decision of what to get is already decided.

There have been a couple of times when Wendy and I visit a place.  Then the next day we receive a coupon to the place we just were!

The good thing is if I pay to go to a place then I will definitely go there for free.  There have been several of the promotional coupons that I let expire.

Are the best things in life free?  Or buy one get one?

Laid back is better than laid out

I would like to think that I am a somewhat laid back person.  I wonder why people seem to be running around getting aggravated at something.  Then something does not work right or meet my expectation.  I realize that I am just as high strung. 

Getting mad, at least my way, does not accomplish much.  Unless you want people to think you are a moron.  The fine line of using anger is to change the situation for the better, not add to it.

Has my temper tantrum ended?   Could just be another hot head blowing hot air.

Relationship status

I recently read a book on Christian apologetics.  It was difficult for me to follow in some places.  It was pretty interesting to see a lot of the names of the contributors were international names.

One of the interesting ideas that I saw was about the Trinity and how it relates to us.  I do not fully understand, but one point was that humans were created for relationship.  Specifically relationship with God.  That is why people who seek material things are not happy or have to keep searching for that next thing.  Something is only as good as long as it works.  A relationship is better because there are two people working on it.  Hopefully.

Another interesting point about relationships is something I read in a blog the other day.  The author was talking about the need for close, personal relationship.  He cited that Jesus ministered to thousands, but spent most of his earthly ministry with the twelve disciples.  It is good to have that close network of people to teach or to learn.

What are you concentrating on?

It pays to attention

Last night I went to the grocery store to pick up a few things.  We had let our cupboards go bare and needed something for dinner.  I have a few things that need to be picked and I want to look for something to have for dinner.

I go down the frozen food isle.  I know, not extremely healthy, but convenient.  I wanted to get some ice cream.  The one I had in mind is usually pricey, but I had a coupon.  The last time I was in the store, it was on a great sale.  Not that night.  Plus there not any flavors I wanted for the high price.  I did see some ice cream that I could get two for the price of getting that one.  So I did.

I found a great deal on skillet meals.  So I picked up two.  Once home, to my dismay, I had picked up one that was not on sale.  So due to my error I purchased one not on sale and three times the one on sale.  I harped on that until Wendy rationally said we could not eat out for that price.

Today for lunch I wanted a orange from the bag I bought last night.  Most of the bags last night were in bad shape, but I thought I picked out a good one.  Apparently not.  I had to toss two because they were already moldy.  If you cannot get produce from the grocery store, where can you get it?  Maybe I should try a farmer's market.

I guess that is why Santa checks his list twice.

Looks good on paper

You may know from Wendy's blog and other info that we are trying to take down wallpaper.  It is only one wall, so it could be worse.  If one is like me, I lament that I did not do something earlier.  We have talked about changing the room ever since we have been in the house, but due to lack of initiative, time, or money we never did anything.

Now circumstances have put us into action.  Wendy demanding to get it done!  While Wendy and the girls were away I attempted to do some of wallpaper removal.  Wendy received a small steamer as a gift.  We heard that is a good way to remove the paper.  So I gave it a try.  I was encouraged at first because it seemed to come off.  One small patch.  Then the rest came off in shreds.

Wendy has the drive to get the project done.  She is doing well too.  She has worked while girls are napping.  I am amazed at her progress.  She had about two panels done when I came home from work.  We are somewhat close to the end.  Then sand, patch, prime, and paint.  Gulp!

I do not enjoy these projects, but I know the outcome will be good.  I am not a detailed guy which is needed for wallpaper and paper.   I want to get it done in one swipe, not rinse and repeat.

Good new is that I have the perfect wife who will make sure it is perfect.

Old news

Over the weekend my mom, brother, and I went to visit my grandmother.  She is currently in a nursing home.  For the past several years she has been in an assisted living home and had an active social life.  Including walking a mile and a half daily up until a few weeks ago.  Grandmother did have to use a walker.  Now she is legally blind and does not trust her balance.

It takes a special person to work at a nursing home.  I am not sure if I could do it.  All nursing homes seem the same.  The same blank walls, the same smell, and the same noises.  It is sad to see the residents shuffling or rolling away, seemingly out of their mind.  I think it is the moaning and wailing that can get to me.  The caretakers have to know how to deal with all these things.

I guess one never knows how long people will be around.  Or at least the quality of life.  Make the most of it.

Time will tell

I am not a huge fan of time clocks.  I have to operate on one.   I would much rather work on production.  I would work when there is something to do.  However, I do enjoy get paid for certain hours per week.  I do notice that when a time clock is involved people rush to get in.  What is thirty seconds going to help you do?  That person will sit there for eight hours.  I think it causes stress.  I guess for some people.

Oh well my time is up.

Gold diggers

I have seen a few of the Olympic events this year.  Only because Wendy has it on in the background.  She is a better American than I am.  It seems like there has been a lot going on this year.  The swimming all star Michael Phelps won enough medals to be the all time winning Olympian.  At first it did not look like he would do that well.   I have not really gotten on the Phelps' bandwagon.  There is something about him.  But, hey, he contributed to the number of medals the Americans have won.

One must have a pretty good eye to judge the events.  Most come down to .01 difference or the posture.  I have never been that detailed.

Of course there are the share of controversies.  Badminton causing a stink. I think they just wanted to let people know Badminton is in the Olympics.

It is amazing to see the athletes compete on their levels and then I hear them in the interview.  I think these are just a bunch of kids.  Kids grow up to achieve or be crazy.

Are you dedicated to something to achieve it that only you or family will know you ever received?

Bad act to follow

I am not sure what is going on with the news lately.  There has been a lot going on.  I do not follow most of it.  There is the coverage of the shooting in Aurora.  Then celebrities dying.  Of course politics as usual.

It got me thinking why do people perform violent acts toward one another?  I probably let my temper flare more than it should.  Why not just leave?  I am referring to those who murder family members.  Just walk away.  Would that not be more cost effective in the long run?  It could just be my avoidance of conflict.

I am sure that people who are upset do not think rationally at the time.  There is a small amount of the population who think out their violent acts rationally, or so they say.

People will do crazy things.

What do you do with bad news?

Drop it like.....

One day last week it was like my hands were not working right.  I had one of those days.  I had fixed myself a sandwich and then it ended up on the floor.  It was still pretty much intact so I ate it.  Much to the protest of the others in the room.

The other case of proving gravity was my toothbrush.  I was getting ready to brush my teeth. I had the toothpaste on the brush.  Then the toothbrush performs an acrobatic maneuver, flying into the toilet.  Of course the seat was up.  That is why you always put the seat down.  I admit it is one of those moments where a thought is the toilet had been flushed, so can it be saved.  Wendy said throw that thing away.  Fortunately, the brush was old and only my away from home brush.  We went to the dollar store and got a new toothbrush.

Are most of the items you drop valuable or not?

Waving hello

Our family has returned from the beach.  It was pretty nice over all.  The water was a little rough, but I do not venture far out anyway.  We could see the waves break pretty hard.

The girls handled it pretty well.  Ava stayed out of the sun with Wendy's mom.  Joy did not spend much time playing in the sand nor was a fan of the water.  I ended up holding her the whole time in the water.  Lifting her up and down so the waves would only hit her feet.  She enjoyed walking along the beach and trying to walk up the sand dunes.

Wendy went thrift store bargain hunting.  She came away with a few treasures.  I bought a pair of shoes for two dollars.  They looked good until I wore them.  Now they have already cracked.

It was good to get away with family.  We had a nice low budget trip.  We were going to eat at seafood place on the way home, but everyone was filled from leftovers so we ate a Bojangles instead.  Oh well, I guess that is a reason to go back.

Battery of tests

Last night we had to put a new battery in Wendy's car.  Wendy and I were about to head in opposite directions.  She was going to our house and I was to house sit.  I had waited around a few minutes, I had considered leaving a few minutes earlier.  So we go out to the car.  I put Ava in the car and Wendy tries the ignition.  No result.  Of course there are cars to the right and left.  Not mine though.  So we find the person parked on the driver side.  So I move my car beside Wendy.  However, my cables are not long enough.  Fortunately, the person whose car was on Wendy's passenger side came out.  She had longer jumper cables.  The car cranked right up.  Problem was that when we turned the car off and tried to re-crank, nothing.  So we jumped the car again.

Wendy called the person we were house and animal sitting for and said I would be late.  We looked up an auto care place.  Then drove over.  The person behind the counter checked the battery and the meter showed it was time for replacement.  The battery was three years old.  I wish for a little more, but excessive heat can drain a battery and we have had that.

The good news is that we have a new battery and received it quickly.  The bad news is having to spend money on something I do not want to spend.  We were able to get on our way and do our respective chores.  Wendy taking care of the girls and me house and dog sitting.

Why do "emergencies" happen when you have better things to do?

Oh K cup, you win

The other day at work I get a call from the receptionist.  It seems that someone had put one of those K cups in for the Keurig  system we have.  However, the cup fell out of the slot and was laying down at the bottom.  It did not disappear, not had it finished making the coffee.  The receptionist was not sure if the cup would disrupt the machine.  I was not sure either.  So I go investigate.

I see the cup.  So I do what comes natural, I reach down to get it out.  Of course I cannot quite reach.  So I try again.  As I pull out my arm I guess there are sharp objects on the piece because it left two four inches scratches on my arms.  They looked pretty bad.

I was able to knock the cup into the collection unit with one of those grabbers.

So I guess the cup of coffee enjoyed me.  Or would you say it was good to the last drop?

Out and about

It is one of those busy weeks.  Sort of.  Friday night Ava did not want to go to bed until almost three in the morning.  I feel asleep off and on by ten.  Fortunately, she has not had a repeat performance.

Since Saturday we have been house and animal sitting for some friends.

Sunday, was church, getting together with college friends, and then VBS.

Monday work and Tuesday will be work.  However, Wednesday forward will be vacation.

Air conditioned

I admit it.  I have a Pavlov type reaction when our air condition comes on.  I grimace and sigh.  Wendy say I obsess.  First, let me start of by saying I am glad we have air conditioning.  Also that we have been blessed not to have to work on the system.  The unit honestly needs work.  It came with the house and who knows how long it had been there.  It does cool the house down, but seems to take an eternity.

That is where my obsessiveness comes in.  While the unit is running I will look at the clock and then look at the temperature.  It only has to cool two degrees is my point!  How long could that take?!   Often just when I am about to lose my patience it clicks off.  Funny, how that happens in other things.

Last night the air condition ran so long.  For awhile it went up a degree, even after running for awhile.  It ran so long that even Wendy said cut the air off.  Fortunately, it had cooled down some, enough to be close to where we wanted the temperature to be.  However, it was close to ten o'clock at night!

I know that we have been in a stretch of record breaking heat so air conditioners have had to work overtime.  I do not want my power bill to be paid overtime.

How do enjoy beating the heat?

Nice racc, coon

The other night, we were finishing up eating dinner.  I was at the sink putting some dishes away when Wendy exclaims, "Look out the window!"  I peek out the kitchen window and see a family of raccoons.  There was the big one and one baby, two baby, and lurking around three baby.

We have seen the larger one before.  I guess since Metro is out there they think they can score a meal.  Fortunately, Metro's dish was empty at that time so they were unable to eat.  The raccoons went off on there way.  I hope not to return, but who knows.

I looked online.  Apparently the birth time for raccoons is April through June, which is why some babies appear in July.  They like to hang around water and we live on the edge of a so-called body of water.  One website said there are deterrents like ammonia.  Another said the only true way to alleviate raccoon problems to have them removed. 

I like the idea of having them removed, but not calling someone to do it.  We do not want them to carry rabies and spread it to Metro.  Who since has been outside has been a nice cat, but we do not want that to change.

Hopefully the raccoon family will see that we are pretty boring and not find us hospitable.  They can even take our dust with their feet.

What did you do with your wild night creatures?

Open and shutdown

Today is a day that I am ready for the end.  It has been so quiet at work.  Everyone was gone or found better ways to occupy their time than I did.

At least it is Friday.  I had two days of work, then off one, then work two days.  All in not bad.  Through it did drag in some places.

Did your week go weak?

There are always the same hours in the day

Yet vacation days always seem shorter.

My day off yesterday flew by.  I cannot really tell you what we did.  I do not think we left the house.  Well to get ice cream.  Coupon!  We heard some people shooting off what I hope were firecrackers somewhere.  Fireworks were on television.  It is odd to watch fireworks on tv.  On broadcast showed twenty minutes worth while playing music selections.  I suppose the only good thing about watching celebrations on television is not being out in the elements and well be able to go to your own bathroom.

I guess the days go by quickly because I am less conscious.  At least that is what I think I hear Wendy say before I roll over...

Where does time seem to go where you go?

Heigh ho, heigh ho, it is off work I go

Today is the Fourth of July, so it is a day off.  Not that I am complaining, but it is in the middle of the week.  All day yesterday had the feel of Friday.  Being off one day is going to feel weird.  However, the bright side is work two days, off one, work two days, off one.  I guess that makes it a four day workweek.  I did not even have to work ten hour days.

Not sure what is on the agenda today.  Could do a lot, but how much?

Do you see a vacation as relaxation or an interruption?

Spam it

Apparently my e-mail account thought I needed to send more e-mails.  My first ever e-mail account was a Hotmail account.  I still have it.  It is my main account.  I have had the same password for that account since its creation.  Not anymore.  I know, which is more sad that I have not updated the password or that I use Hotmail?

Saturday, Wendy was on the computer and said she received an e-mail from me with just a link.  It looks like my account had been hacked.  All on my contact list received a spam e-mail containing a link.  Well to be honest, my contact list is so old and out of date I received most of the mail back in mailer daemon form.  When I was able to check my e-mail, I had to get a recovery code because Hotmail locked my account due to excess activity, I had over 200 returned e-mails.

I hate that my account was hacked.  It is annoying.  However, there is a funny side because most of the people were not affected.  It was amusing to see all those returned e-mails.  Well until I had to clean them out.

How out of date is your contact list?  Do you still use your first e-mail account?

Sorry about the large picture.  Just for you to scroll down and see this.

Two twos

Sunday Wendy and I saw doubles.  Joy turned two years old and Ava turned two months.  For pictures you will have to check out Wendy's wonderful blog.  It is amazing how different children look in earlier pictures and I have no recollection of them looking that way.

If you ask Joy how old she is the answer is "Nine."  Two used to be all she would say.

We had a party for Joy on Saturday.  On the menu was pizza, watermelon, and red velvet cake.  Joy received a red wagon, a doll, and much needed summer clothes.  To complete the red theme Joy wanted to spend time outside and came in all red from the heat.

What is your favorite part of a birthday?

Vacating the premises

I think God wants me to take a vacation.  Yesterday all the blogs I read were about vacations.  Of course it is summer, so one can take that into account.  It could be also the effect when a particular thought is in the mind, confirmation of that thought is all a person sees.  Wendy and I had been talking about a getaway a few days ago.  Wendy has a desire to go  to the beach.  I am not sure the last thing we have gone.

Growing up my family never really took vacations.  If we went anywhere it was to visit family.  So the taking time to go somewhere is foreign to me.  However, Wendy is trying to train me.

I did hear an interesting exchange on a website I visited.  Michael Hyatt, author and speaker on leadership, talked about people who never took vacations.  Maybe they thought they were too valuable to be gone.  I know I am not too valuable to be missed.  His thought is that people need vacations.  He also said that if one never takes a vacations it shows how that person cannot manage time to get the work done.  I think that is an interesting point.

A vacation does not have to be elaborate.  All it is a time of getaway and renewal.

Where are you going to go?

I wish I were cool

Not just because of the heat.

It seems that there is a flurry of activity all around me.  People are doing this amazing things.  They seem to have great careers, but look like they are not out of their twenties.  Or they talk about going to this place.

I seem to only go to work and come home.

I look in the mirror and go bleegh.

Does anybody say the word cool anymore?

Driving me crazy

Yesterday we were coming  back from visiting Wendy's parents.  It was after 6 o'clock in the evening.  So we thought traffic would not be that bad.  We left in pouring down rain, but it did stop after a few minutes.  All was well until we hit exit 309 on 40.  It was a stand still.  We could not figure out what was happen.  further down the road we see they want everyone to get in the left lane.  The weird thing was once that happened traffic moved a little more smooth.  After 30 minutes we venture two miles and see that an exit has been closed.  After that traffic returned to normal.  The thing I do not understand is how road repair on an entirely separate road effected our traffic.

Wendy and I seem to always pick the wrong shopping lane as well.  Over the weekend one guy was had one item so we stood behind him.  However, it took 15 minutes for the cashier to help him.  We saw several people move forward in the lines around us.  I think we did end up moving lines, but still had a delay.

Where is these life in the fast lane everyone is talking about?

No know

I heard a clip from an interesting individual the other day.  A guy named Bob Goff, who recently wrote a  book called Love Does.  I do not know too much about the book.  Bob was pretty interesting to watch and very energetic.  Two statements he made interested me.

One was talking about that he knew facts about Jesus.  He called it "stalking Jesus".  Bob had the specifics down and focused on the what.  Sort of like the social media of your choice.  People can know all about you, but not know you.

The next story related to a men's Bible study Bob attends.  He wanted to something other than just look at a passage and talk about.  He gave the example of Lazarus and the leader asking, "When was the last time you were dead?'  "Right now."  thought Bob.  He was to see how it could be applied into action.

There might be something in the Bible about that.

Communication is one key to a lock

I am reading about book by a relationship expert who says that communication can be talked about too much.  In his opinion, communication is not the only thing to keep a marriage successful.  Sure it is important, but there are other things. 

The book is The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman.  Gottman put a lot of effort into studying couples.  Now he can tell which couples will make it and which will not.  He stresses that couples have to like each other and be able to diffuse the relationships.  Tension will come.  It is the couples that are able to break that tension that will survive.  That brings up his point about communication.  If the couple is communicating, but it is only escalating then what good was the talk.  So the relationship is the key.  Most of the excuses people use for divorce are not the true cause, but only symptoms from a broken relationship.

In case you are interested the seven principles Gottman has are:
1)  Enhance your love maps-  Get to know your partner.

2) Nurture your fondness and admiration-  Your partner has good qualities.  Tell that person1

3)  Turn toward each other instead of away- Your partner is your partner.

4) Let your partner influence you-  Everyone can use advice.

5)  Solve your solvable problems-     Work through to find a solution

6)  Overcome gridlock-  A back up gets no one where he wants to go.  Sometimes a temporary compromise must be met.

7)  Create shared meaning-  I have not finished that chapter yet.  I would think it would be create memories as a couple.  Find the common ground to ease the tension.

Of course I am no relationship expert.  I am not even sure if these are the right meanings.  Marriage is meant to last.  It is one of the important relationships.  Why not put in a little effort for the one you love?

Father's Day Fallout

People always ask "How was (insert choice)?"  I never really know what to say.  I am not that big on introspection.  As long as it was okay, it is good.

This past Father's Day was pretty good.  A friend from church and two of her children came over and babysat.  Wendy and I had a lunch date and ran some errands.  Sunday was the normal church activities.  I did receive some Father Day gifts.  Two polo shirts.  Which is good because I do not buy clothes on my own.  I only wear what people give me.

I guess celebrations are for people who like to have fun.  People seem to have very active lifestyles.  At least hearing about it motivates my thinking about doing something.

So, how was your day?

Pa's to remember

Today is Father's Day.  Which means there has been a run on a random assortment of things.  Do people still get ties?

A little aside.  Why do the people who seem the most driven have the most children?  How do they have the time?  Also a lot of people involved in ministry leadership seem to have a lot of children.  Is that so they can fill up the church wherever they go?

Men like to be noticed.  That is a good thing because children notice them.  Nothing taken from moms, but one hears about family struggle with no father in the house.  A father is supposed to be an example.  To a son, teach the boy to be a man.  To a daughter, show her the type of man she needs.

There is probably some saying out there about how it takes only a second to become a father, but it takes a lifetime to be a father.  If not, then I will take credit for it.  I think it is true.  Fatherhood is a responsibility.  Think of it like duty.  A father signed up because it is a cause he believes in.

The good news is that fathers do not have to perfect.  I know I am far from being a perfect father.  As fathers, we need to show perfect love.  From what I am reading, if the father makes a lot of mistakes, but still loves the child then an award winning  book will be written.  Joy and Ava, how about 60/40?

So fathers, dads, pops, paters, baby daddies, the old men, we can stand a little straighter and know that we have those who love us.  That is half the battle.  The other half is showing them we love them.

The music is going to get you

I know nothing about music.  I cannot sing nor dance.  However, there is something about hearing music that does make me want to move.  While working out I am one of the few who does not have some form of earbuds.  Sometimes when I attend the gym there are workout classes going on.  The trainer usually has some upbeat music as accompaniment.  It does help to get the body going.  I know that I can move my legs a little faster. 

Music does get the imagination flowing.  Think of all the musicals where the actors burst into what seems like random song.  Everyone wants their own intro music.  Sometimes music makes me want to do those high flying acrobatic moves, which I cannot do.  That is probably more a guy thing.

I love those reunion type songs.  Where one starts singing and the other partner comes out to finish as a duet.  Or the upbeat choir.  I think I would like that at my funeral.  So it will be fun for the audience.

On another note, that is the end.  Music to your ears I know.

Come fly with me

Last night we heard the buzzing of an unwanted creature.  We were eating dinner and kept hearing the buzzing of roaming fly.  This thing was massive.  You would think that its immense size would make it easy to kill.  Not quite.  I would come close, but could never hit it.

Well one time I did.  I smacked my hands and it fell.  I should have gone with my gut instinct and crushed its guts extinct.  However, as it lay on the floor, I looked for something to pick it up with to dispose of our guest.  Right when I reached down with the napkin, the fly took flight.  It buzzed around a little more disrupting our evening.  Then disappeared or at least I could never find it again.

I guess the fly-ght plan included not getting killed.

The check is in the mail

I had an interesting experience Friday afternoon.  It always happens Friday an hour or so before the end of the day.  I think sometimes Friday is the new Monday.

One of the accounting team members tracks me down and says remember that check you sent Express Mail?  The people did not get it.  Uuuuuggghhh!  Of course I do not have the tracking number.  It did not come off on the paper and I thought I should write it down.  Did I?  Naaa.  So I try to track down the tracking number.  First plan, check the unused Express mail forms.  Problem, not in sequential order.  I have no way of knowing the number.  Second plan, call our local post office.  Problem, they the need to tracking number to do anything.  Dead end.  Third, find the paper.  Problem, in the trash from two days ago.  So I dumpster dive.  After two attempts, I find the paper.  Still blank.

By this time it is time to go.  I think I will go by the post office and maybe a face to face chat will help.  Problem, close to their closing time and the line is out the door.  Plus, I have no information.  So I turn around and go home.

Monday comes.  I get the address to place it was sent. The person in Accounting says it was meant to be sent somewhere else, but in the haste to get it ready for next day did not.  So it went to the place addressed on the check.  So I call the main post office.  The guy says there is nothing he can do, but he gives me the phone number of the post office where it was to be delivered.  I call and talk to the nice person who says....here is the envelope right here.  Apparently the carrier could not get anyone at the business to sign for the Express mail package!  Hmm.  So I say I will see what the people want to do, whether put it out for delivery or have someone pick it up.  The guy in accounting calls his contact and she will have someone from the place it was intended to go pick it up.  So I call back the post office and say someone will pick it up.  I do get the tracking number this time, just in case.

I check the tracking online.  So sign of anything.  Then later I check.  I see the noticed of failed delivery.  Finally check back and see someone signed for it.  I guess it takes awhile for the system to update.

Anyway crisis averted.  The check was truly in the mail.  Somewhere.

Parking a lot

Wendy's parents came into town for a few hours on Saturday.  Wendy's dad wanted to do a picnic lunch at Pullen Park. So we grab lunch at Bojangles'.  Side note...have a senior citizen order the food.  So we grab the food and head to the park.  As we get closer Wendy notices all the cars on the side of street.  Spirits sink lower as we pass each car.  We pull into the parking lot.  No spaces available.  Some event was happening.  That is the second time we have gone on the same day as an event.  The first was some kind of shindig happening in the afternoon, so when we went most of the park was closed.

So after no place to park at the park, we decide to venture to another park.  This one is not that crowded.  Except the cover picnic area.  A group is having a party.  Fortunately, we find a picnic table and enjoy our lunch.  Joy was ready to wander around.

Joy does love being outside.  She seems to enjoy the park.  I am not quite what she enjoys most about park.  She will swing enough to get the phrase, "Out, out" out.  She slides a few times.  Mostly she enjoys walking from here to there.  And pointing out the babies and dogs.

So even though the day did not turn out like we had planned we still had our picnic in the park.

Storms a brewin' the drink of your choice

Even though we have not officially hit summer.  Shh!  Don't tell the temperatures.  We have had the effects of the summer storms.  It seems according to the handy weather icons that clouds have taken over.  Most of the days have rain.  Some days more than others.

I think water is one of those things people like, until it ruins their plans.

To the left of me is alright with me

There is something about leftovers that makes them just as good, if not better, than the first time.  Timing does have a lot to do with this.  I do not imagine it works with anything too old.  It is a good feeling knowing that I do not have to cook and still have decent food available.  It could just be that I do not have to worry about what to eat.  The food is ready to be consumed.

The write stuff

Everything I read has been written down.  So that does show how important writing is.  Just think about contracts.  Most, if not all, are now in written form.

Same with goals apparently.  I have a hard time even coming up with goals.  The experts say write down the goal.  It is one step closer to achieving it.  I guess it makes it more real.  Or someone finds it and says I will help you do this.  So in that case be careful what you write down.

Burying talent in the sand

I do not really understand the show "America's Got Talent."  It seems that show draws everyone out of somewhere.  An aside note, why are all the major competitions going to win a trip to Vegas?  Is Vegas that hard up for people to visit or is it just so people can bet?  Anyway, the people that audition for the Talent show do bizarre things.  One point is that how is that an act?  It might be cool, but I would not pay money to see it on a regular basis.  Most often the acts are disappointing, which I think most people like.

A show that came on after was one that was on a cable network for a few years and I guess is revamped for primetime.  "America's Next Great Ninja Warrior" or something like that.  It had nothing to do with fighting, but people doing extreme obstacle courses.  Of course the winner goes to Vegas.  As strange as it looked these guys are athletes.  They were doing flips off walls.  It was pretty amazing to watch.  Strange, but cool.

It is good that people are using their talents. If a talent is not used then it is only wasted.  Which will then be given to the person with more.  The Bible talks about investing your time and personal responsibility.  Too often we want a quick route to success.  This is probably way off base, but we bury our talent in one place.  Now I will be the first to admit I want everything handed to me.  I am not patient.  I know that I do not use my talent like I should.  I am one to try and let it glide, waiting for the master to return.

I think using talent and using it well is a series of investment.  Be good to your family and work hard.  Then your family will tell your friends.  Your friends will tell your boss.  Then your boss will tell your bank account.

Eeny Meeny Miney Moe

No, those are not the new stooges.  I do wonder how the movie did.  I think I have heard not well.  Yesterday at church was about choice.  The Sunday school lesson, graduation Sunday, and the sermon in some way.

Choice always happen.  Most people say they have no choice.  This means they do not have the choice they want.  The bizarre thing is that choice happens even when you do nothing.  You are still making a choice.  I admit I have a hard time choosing between things.  Some things are a given, of course.  The ready example is food.  I prefer places where I have choice, as long as it is under one price.  That way I do not have to narrow my options.

The majority of my choice seems to involve inaction.  I tend to wait and see what will be given to me.  Or I defer to another judgment.

I think that great people are able to make a choice, even when it is difficult.  Of course it helps to have guidance all along and when a difficult choice comes up, it does not have to be a difficult decision.

The choice is yours.  The question is what are you going to do with it?

Open and shut case

My previous post was about my woes in opening various packaging.  Now it seems that I cannot open lids.  It sounds simple.  Turn and twist.  For some reason my hands do not grasp the concept.  Or the lid is hanging on for dear life.  Or I exhibit superhuman strength when closing something.

I will loosen it for next time.

Package deal

What is going on with packaging today?  I have the hardest time opening up something.  I think that it is paper so how hard could it be to open?  Answer...pretty hard.  I pull and it stretches with me.  Or the worst is when the package is resealable and then breaks.

 At least I know my contents are pretty safe.

Clouded judgment

It is so weird to see the seven day forecast with clouds and storms.  It seems that we have had more storms than usual.  I heard for last month we were two inches over for amount of rain, but at that point an inch behind for the year.  It does seem like we have had more rain ever since Metro ran outside a few months ago.  I am not sure where he goes during the wet weather.  If April showers bring May flowers, then what do May downpours bring?

I saw yesterday it raining sideways with the sun out.  I guess the current rain pattern is a result from the latest tropical storm hovering around.

Feel free to drop by anytime.  But only when I do not have any major plans.

Good grief

I will admit upfront that I do not have much experience in loss.  I have had a couple of grandparents die.  In all honesty the closest I have come to loss is misplacing something.  So that being claimed you can take everything I say with a ton of salt.

Today is Memorial Day.  It is a time when the majority of people are off work and yes, the kickoff for summer.  According to one comedian it is a great time to buy a mattress.  Yet, most importantly, or at least the official reason for the holiday, is a day of remembrance.  For those who made a difference in our lives and our country.  Those who paid with an ultimate sacrifice.  I have never served in the military nor do I know anyone personally who has died in service to our country.  Sure, I see the stories on television.  It is only imagining the loss the surviving friends and family must feel.

My in-laws church did something interesting during the service yesterday.  Other churches may do it or they may do annually I am not sure.  They included a memorial service in the service.  Names were read off of church members and family who died during the year.  A candle was lit in there honor, along with a photograph placed on a tree.  It was interesting to see how the people were impacted by their loved ones.

I am sure that grief never goes away.  There is always the tension between missing someone and, if the person was a believer, knowing he is with God.  I guess that is why someone who wants to be there is a shoulder.  The shoulder provides encouragement or a nudge when needed, hopefully block some of the insensitive things that are well intentioned, and provide a place to cry on.  Dealing with grief is a process.  I suppose not some goal to reach.

To the living I would say, remember those that had an impact on you.  Honor the memory and behave the way that person taught.  That is probably the best tribute.  Also live in a way that people will want to remember.

Wheeling and Dealing

Wendy and I recently watched the movie Flywheel.  It one produced by the Kendrick brothers who do Christian movies, like Facing the Giants, Fireproof, and Courageous.  Flywheel was their first one.  The title came from one sentence of dialogue in the movie.  I guess that is the way most movies are.

It was one of those life changing movies.  The main character is a not necessarily sleazy guy, but works really hard to make a deal.  Including ripping off the customer.  He has a God epiphany and vows to change his life.  It would not be an inspirational movie if things did not work out for him.

The dialogue was pretty funny and made some of the characters seem outrageous.  One of the funniest scenes is one I am not sure is possible, but it was a pretty good gag.  The message is good.  Everything is the LORD's.  It will work out, maybe not in an expected way.  In a way that I have just enough to trust Him again.

It was a pretty good movie and worth watching if you have the chance.  It has a lot to offer.  A whole car lot.

Hey, y'all watch this!

A year or so ago I was given a nice watch as a present from the company I do some work for.  It was their 90th anniversary and to commemorate they gave out watches.  I wear a watch if I have one.  The watches I had in the past, the battery died and I am too cheap to have it fixed.  Back to the watch at hand, it is a nice watch.  It has the metal links.  I usually get the cheaper material, but it was a gift so okay.

One day Joy was playing with the watch.  Wendy said you might want to get that from her.  The words, "I do not think she can mess it up," barely exited my mouth when Joy dropped it.  The clear face cover was cracked.  It still runs fine.  So I still wear it.

Fast forward to this morning or rewind dependent on when this read.  I was walking along and my arm swung out.  Right into the door jamb.  I am fine, but the watch face is not.  The watch must have hit the metal side of the door frame.  It shattered that plastic piece.  Amazingly, to me, the watch is keeping time.  It is just open access.  I wonder how long it will be before I hit it on something to disrupt the laying on of hands.

Time will tell.

Life is but a dream

I do not remember most of my dreams.  If I remember having a dream, then what happens fades pretty quickly.        I might have a general idea, but then cannot remember.  I have a feeling there were certain people in some kind of situation.  To my knowledge I have never had the naked in public dream.

I do not hear to many people talk about dreams.  The sleep kind that is.  It used to be a big thing in psychology circles.  I am in the introduction of a dream analysis book.  I thought it might be interesting.  Of course it has to say well this is what that can mean or it may mean something different.  One part in the book talked about how Freud thought everything dealt with sex.  Objects refer to men and women.

I do not think most of my dreams have a focus of an object.  Maybe that is why I cannot remember them.  They are that boring.

Dream on.

Conflict of interest

No, I am not  interested in conflicted.  Yes, I will privately complain.  However, in the heat of battle I tend to cool down.  Not really the level headed cool.   More like the game where you are looking for something and when far off hear, "Cold.  Colder."  In moments of frustration my instinct is to shut down.  Retreat to the Job defense, 'It would be better off if I was not born.'  It is ironic that in trying to appease everyone I end up disappointing everyone.

I know that some forms of conflict are needed.  Conflict makes a person take new responsibility.  Or makes him reach for a new level.  The key to difference is not to treat the person different.  Of course not everyone can get the end he wants.  A conflict should not end in a causality.

I think that is why there are different people in the world.  If the world was only made up of mes, then the murder rate would probably be one hundred percent.

Line item

This past weekend I had two bizarre customer experiences.  I have had some strange ones in the past.

Friday afternoon, after getting off work I head to a drug store chain to pick up some pictures for Wendy.  She had a coupon for a great deal on pictures.  So I arrive and see the photo counter.  No one is around.  There is a cashier at the front helping people.  I stand around for five minutes wondering what is going on.  Still no one.  I see the alphabetical bins and know Wendy's pictures are there and I even know my last name.  So after waiting I head to the cashier.  She says let me page someone for you.  I hear the announcement, "Customer needs assistance at photo."  I think ok, that should do it.  Five more minutes pass by and no one.  I wanted to head behind the counter and pick up the photos myself.
Then a woman who has been shopping since I have been waiting asks if anyone has helped me.  I say I am still waiting.  She says let me tell the cashier.  She mentions it to the cashier.  The cashier makes another announcement.  After two minutes an employee comes up.   He gets my name and hands me the pictures.  As the transaction is nearing the end, another employee comes up.  I think this guy is the regular photo operator because he says he was on his fifteen.  Would not a store have a back up counter worker for a department?  Oh well I got the photos.

Experience two.  Wendy and I and family ran out for a few minutes on Saturday night.  It was already close to bedtimes, but circumstances forced us into the open.  While out we thought we would pick up some much need grocery items.  We head to America's Family Empire...Wal of Shame.  We find our items and proceed to check out.  We do our normal find the short line that turns into the longer line.  The guy in front of us realizes he has left his wallet in the car.  So he goes out to get and it and the cashier checks us out. 
After checkout, the a store employee is checking the items purchase against the receipt.  We stand in a line of four.  He is rooting through a customer's buggy.  Seems like he is taking forever.  Finally one down.  The next guy he checks his purchases.  Then the third.  Right as we get up to the associate, he turns and walk off.  So we had to stand there for five minutes for you to check other purchases and he does not even bother to check ours.  In my mind it seems that we wanted for nothing.  However, if we had tried to go past I am sure we would have been stopped.  Oh well we made it home and to bed.

It seems those quick trips involve slow falls.

Nasally voice

The past day or so I have not quite felt right.  My nose has been burning and somewhat leaky.  The build up has also backed up into my head.  Giving me a little bit of a headache.  It is amazing what the nose can produce.  I can it come in all forms, liquid, solid, well maybe not so much gas, but loosely based on sneezing.

A runny nose can be irritating.  I am sure it looks disgusting with a trail hanging down.  It does not feel the greatest as well.  If you blow a nose too much then it gets sore.  The nose can effect taste.  Sometimes one can get so stopped up that the voice is barely heard or gets pretty deep.  I think I have heard someone say he waited until he was sick and then updated his answering machine.

I suppose there are worse things to have.

Well I guess it is time to scratch and sniff.  As according to urban dictionary, they used to say in the 1990s- Smell you later.

Memories are as good as the time

I thought I had a blog post in mind, but now cannot remember it.  Oh well.

That happens to me frequently.  I will come up with something and think it sounds good to me.  Then when it comes time to use it, I cannot remember what it is.

I am one that reacts to the present.  The future catches me off guard and the past surprises me.  When it does come to the present, I have the gift of oblivion.

Most people handle memories out of context. Pretty much like that sentence.  Looking back it is easier to think of something as being better or worse than it was at the time.  Which is good because it leads us to want to do it again, to achieve the results we actually want.

Mother May 1

Is it a sign of great respect when you honor someone after the fact or just a sign of not getting around to it.  A few days ago was Mother's Day.  A time to honor women.  Translation a bigger gift than what we usually give them.

Mothers are different breed.  They have the instinct to take of children, any children.  They have to do a lot.  Wiping noses, even when it is gross.  Kissing boo-boos, even when the child was told repeatedly to stop doing that.  Staying awake with a fussy child, even when the husband is fast asleep.

So thank you mothers.  We need you.  I need you.  So when we do not say we love you enough, know that you are loved because you are the ones we turn to.

On a personnel note, thanks to the one woman who works so hard for me and cares for my daughters.  Wendy, I love you.  Most of the time she even claims me.

Step one

A couple of Sundays ago during the worship service the choir sang a song with the chorus "One Step."  Besides being a catchy tune, it does have a good message.

Where would we be without that one step. 

The baby begins walking.

The first career.

The bride coming to meet her husband.

Sometimes life does require us to run at a full (some may say fool) pace, but it begins with one step.  I am not sure I would want to see my life all mapped out.  Okay, sometimes I would.  I do think if I saw it I would never do anything.

The best thing in life to is to take one step at a time.  It can be to move forward or to step back and reevaluate.

Ava story to tell

Well.  Ava Noel Parker entered the world a week ago.  The circumstances of this birth are more lucid.  Of course it did happen a week ago.  This time I had camera in hand.  It was interesting to hear during the procedure the doctor say, "Ok, Dad.  Stand up."  I got a photo of the doctor and nurse holding Ava from the womb.  Is it still called a womb even with a C-section?  How about place of origination?

Wendy is a trooper, as always.  She had some elevated blood pressure toward the end, which threw a kink in some planning issues.  The end result did turn out.

I had forgotten how many diapers one changes with a newborn.  I suppose all babies doo it, but Ava is notorious for causing a diaper change during a diaper change.  If you know what I mean.  And the squiggling.  It is different changing a newborn's diaper and an almost two year old's diaper.

Joy is handling the arrival pretty well.  She enjoys Ava in the bouncer and wants to make sure Ava has plenty of "moosic."

I am sure there will be many adventures of two Parker girls running around.